I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
