we have officially lost it.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize