New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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