She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
