And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
