don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
