the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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