You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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