i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
