Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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