I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
