He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
