it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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