Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
