the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
