We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize