I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
