Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There r osticjed everywhere
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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