You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
