I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
