It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize