32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
