is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
