i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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