man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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