is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
