I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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