It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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