Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
