Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
