You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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