Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize