Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
