dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
