okay pat passed out under dana's car
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
