is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
