Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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