question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
