Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
