wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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