You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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