You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Can I color on your dick again?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize