theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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