She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
