Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
