i just google imaged poop.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize
