This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
