So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
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