how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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