Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
