The brown eye won't let me do that either.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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