Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
