do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
