u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
