WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
