She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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