Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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