I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
