Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize