My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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