it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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