id be glad to
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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