your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
